Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Curse of the Celebrity Kid Name

It has to be hard enough to be born to famous parents. All of the spotlight, constant attention and instability raising the poor child's anxiety level to a ridiculous point and then on top of all of that you named them WHAT?!?!?! Yes, these poor kids are doomed. Can someone please send a memo to these narcissistic ("an all pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration") celebs who feel the need to make public spectacles of their innocent kids. I mean, these celebrity parents give their kids the best of (most) everything when it comes to money, education, cars, etc. but they really are tough giving up the good names. Britney didn't even screw her names up! These kids don't asked to be born into a paparazzi circus. I think that the weirder the name, the more screwed the kid will be and the more desperate the parent is. Here is a list of OK names, pretty bad and awful names of celebrity kids. Keep them in your prayers.

(see awful)

Pretty Bad:
(see awful)

-Audio Science, son of Shannyn Sossamon and Dallas Clayton

-Moon Unit, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Dweezil, and Diva, children of Frank Zappa

-Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, and Pixie, daughters of the late Paula Yates (Tiger Lily's dad is the late Michael Hutchence; Bob Geldof is father to the other three)

-Zowie (son of David Bowie -- he later changed his name (redeemed himself) to Joe before settling on Duncan)

-Romeo and Brooklyn (sons of Victoria and David Beckham)

-Jermajesty (son of Jermaine Jackson) (LOFL!)

-Rumer Glenn, Tallulah Belle and Scout LaRue, daughters of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore

-Prince Michael, Prince Michael II (AKA Blanket), and Paris Michael, children of Michael Jackson

-Speck Wildhorse and Hud, sons of John Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin

-Apple Martin, daughter of Gwyneth & Chris, sister of Moses

-Pilot Inspektor, son of Jason Lee

-Tu Morrow, daughter of Rob Morrow (seriously?!?!)


Trixie LaRue said...

Who does these people think they are? It is just plain mean!

Anonymous said...

Perhaps being a "Speck" is nothing more than a speck of dirt, sand,etc. and the child will grow up to consider himself worthless.. kudos to the f'd up celebrity parents..essentially life in celeb land is nothing more than a speck on earth , or a speck in time..I have more than a speck of concern for children in my town then for the bespeckled of celeb town..CAVTJ

ShopperGirl said...

I have one word: retarded. It's one thing to be different, and different is good, but such calculated different-ness (yes I made that word up, I think…) for different’s sake is a sign of complete desperation.

Tanvi says... said...

Can I name my kids Princess Tanvi amd Princess Tanvi II?